The Bruno Tales (2018)


Bruno has been with Patricia and Chris since he was 2 years 11 months old after we rescued him from  an indescribably awful and filthy home! He’s in good shape, almost 10 now, which considering his combination of 4 homes before he was 3 + cruciate ops on hind legs before we got him  + the hunger gene +  an unbelievable ability to steal food, he really shouldn’t still be with us. Oh, and an unimaginable total vet bill which we don’t think aboutl!

But he soldiers on – very happy ….

Well folks, here we are Autumn 2018, another year passing and what a great Summer. Everyone’s been telling me I’ve lost weight – “what good shape he’s in…!” I’m not so sure – I keep trying to say – I’M STARVING …. Roll on Christmas – I always vote for turkeys!

It has been a good year for blackberries hasn’t it, and thank goodness for the apple trees. At least I could supplement my rations there, and I can usually beat Him to the tree. I don’t care if they are going off a bit – it’s me or the birds, and goodness knows the birds are kept well looked after. About 4 apples a day was good at the height of the season. But all that’s ended, so what’s a chap to do? On our walks I’m still getting rotten pears that animals keep taking into the fields.

This year I’ve gone for the Autumn varied diet: I managed a chicken carcass at the daughter’s home – silly them, left in reach, and now poor Hamish is no longer there I have to do my bit. No problem for the stomach though. My coup – I managed to get an Easter Egg off the top of the piano at home – well I’m a tall chap! They’d been keeping it for the granddaughters, on the “don’t-give-them-too-much-at-once” theory. Well, it was only milk chocolate with a few Kit-Kat inside. Silver paper? No, don’t be silly of course I didn’t!

Then I had a real stroke of luck one day – they went out and left the conservatory open with 2 tomato plants. Yum – red and green, they did taste very good, and They were surprised I could pick them. But I did get told off.

They are very good and do look after me: I heard Her ordering a new tub of YUMOVE  tablets for me and Suzie: they are so good for the joints – all that Green Lipid Muscle. But I can’t teach Them – they went out and left them, admittedly still wrapped, on the hallstand. Well I couldn’t resist – no problem, opened the wrapping and plastic box, and ate the lot. It said 300 tablets ….. they did taste good. Not such a good night – gave me the trots and kept having to get Him up to let me out. Oh but it was worth it – I think. They were going to take me to the vets – but the vet rang back, I heard him say – “what, all 300?” but then said not to worry, it’s only powder. Mmm, may be only powder to you chum. Very good taste though – and I DO need variety!

The latest fad? He keeps cleaning my teeth – excellent news, its liver-flavoured toothpaste – Yummm, try it if you can!

Oh well, Suzi and I had a very nice fortnight holiday – They went off to the Windies – or somewhere – so we went to our holiday home with an excellent lady and her husband: I keep them amused, and lots of good walks in the woods. There are always holiday snaps too – reminds me … one year I found a haunch of deer in those woods. See, you just never know.

Hey ho – hope Christmas goes well for you – never know what it will bring. Haven’t had a Christmas pudding yet …….


The Bruno Tales were first published in our magazine, Labradors Forever.  You can subscribe online here

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